We all need room to grow.
Without it we cannot reach our true potential. Like the tomato between the posts and the tomatillo squished in the iron bench, people need space, to be left unhindered by others, in order to thrive.
Sure, we need guidance and support, they are critical.
But the support must be a foundation without being confining. That is the key to raising healthy vegetables and healthy children.
I started my vegetable garden when my children became adults as a way of coping with the empty nest situation. Soon after came this blog. Learning to live a life which is not centered around my children is a challenging process. And truthfully it starts when the children are around 4 years old. Oh boy, I remember the, "I do it myself!" moments when I was forced to take a deep breath and remain patient while watching my child struggle with shoes, or a jacket, or whatever.
My son is a private person, a very competent person who is completely capable, and I trust his judgement without reservation. He is successful professionally and socially. He is an over achiever, calm, determined, amazing. We have a good relationship and I am deeply thankful for that. I know it is a precious thing to be close to your twently-something son as sons tend to pull strongly away from their parents at this stage. That is what we raised them to do, to become independent, but in the process we hope to stay relevant and connected.
I have learned to follow his lead when it comes to finding the right balance with trying to connect with my son. He is private, I want to know everything. That combination could be in issue.
I don't press, I give him room, at least I try. And it's working. He is growing rapidly into the man of my dreams, a mother's dream come true.